Ah. I am completely wide awake.

I slept waaaay too much today. I got up around 10:30 after staying up until 3 am and i was up until about 1:40 or so and then I went to my room and kinda…fell asleep by accident. But, anywho. That isn’t why I’m writing this. Back to the point.

Since I’m totally wide awake. This is what is going on in my head while all of you lucky people are able to sleep right now.

I’ve noticed a lot of change recently. Not in me…but in people.

What would you do if?
The President of the United States called you: I would tell him everything i think about him lol Oh gee that would be fun
You won the lottery: give the money for charity
You got invited to be on a reality TV show: it depens on the show! Gee i hate reality shows!!
You caught a friend stealing from you: *confused* io would be really upset
You witnessed a murder: call the police.. but with the russian police.. gee it doenst make any sence
A random stranger offered you candy: say “fuck off” or just ignore
MySpace and Facebook closed: died loool
A genie granted you one wish: hm… genie become my own genie and do everything i want
You lost your favorite possession: idk
You found 10 dollars on the ground: take them and give for charity, cos next1 who would c it would def keep them
Your date throws up on you: dont really mind
Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: i would kill that someone loool
Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: die lol
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: i would call my dad i guess lol

Sooo here’s an update on what’s been goin on:

Im in Russia again.
I dont believe there is anything there for me
The people are not accepting.
i dont believe in over night friendships.

Theatre, acting, modeling and sex.

It means everything to me.
Failure is not an option
cheering me on wouldnt hurt
I need more people in my life that can support me & whatever i do with myself
And id be there to back them up whenever.

I dont want to be a star for the money
I dont want to show off my prada
I wanna show the world how beautiful anyone can be
and a sense of humor can make anyone lovable
I wanna share my thoughts on the world and travel
i wanna make my mom proud.
I wanna take my grandma to vegas
I wanna buy my brother the new orleans Saints
I want people to know who I am

I believe in art
I believe in striving
I believe in hard work
I believe in sacrifice
and I do believe in myself.

I dont need your approval.
If pose naked and have sex on camera and I dont care what you think.

If I want to marry a rockstar thats 10 years older than me, I will.
Im comfortable in my skin and Im not afraid to show it.

“I used to think as I looked out on the Hollywood night,
‘There must be thousands of girls sitting alone like me, dreaming of becoming a movie star.
But I’m not going to worry about them.
I’m dreaming the hardest.’”
-Marilyn Monroe

Well… I haven’t been here for a long time. Just because of my lazyness, actually )
Now it’s 2 week of a new semester and i feel that it will be much more difficult, than previous. It is really hard to study after such long holidays. The most aufull thing - is to get up at 7 a.m. hate this…

ok so look, me and cara are evil villians. my name is super sand negro and her name is the dirty ukranian. we fight and battle againt dante and mike, aka the dancing fool and jew boy. super sand negro will create bombs outa thin air and terrorize your community, the dirty ukranian will shoot lasers from her boobs like most ukranians can. the dancing fool will dazzle you with his sweet dance moves and jew boy will attempt to convert you but will usually fail.

Oh my god have I ever been so busy. It seems all I do is work work work and no sleep and no play. But there is many nights of fucking hot and sexy boys. I am trying to come back to America in the coming months to visit friends that I have met over the years so it is looking like its only going to keep getting busier and busier! No sleep for the wicked right??

summer stuff

So this past summer I made a list of a few goals and over the summer I made an effort to accomplish them, so I figure I would let you know how they turned out.

1. Expand vocabulary- This actually went very well. I already had a humongo vocabulary, but it was really fun to learn new words. it has definently helped in my reading comprehension and writing. you should try it

2. Read new types of books- This one worked out too. I read about everything from fantasy fiction to books about russian politics. and when I would read a book I would first research and learn about the time period and the author. great passtime.

3. Get along with my sister better- To your suprise, and mine I actually get along with Mikayla better than I have in a long time. I can’t change how much time I spend with her, the way she acts all the time, nor can I change the fact that she is my sister, but I did change my way of thinking and after that I could change our relationship. We still argue because we’re sisters, but we deal with things a lot better.

4. Help other people, and be helped by them- I had a bit of a hard time with this one. I love helping people, but I relaized that I can’t fix their problems. I can simply be there for them when they need someone. Being helped was even harder. I had people help me when I didn’t want to be helped, which helped me figure out who my real friends were.

5. get closer with God- errmmm….this one did not work. in fact the opposite happened, but it’s not really a topic I am willing to discuss with people, so don’t bring it up, and we’ll be cool. enough said.

6. Stop ******* not willing to discuss this one either, but it didn’t happen. still working on this one.

7. Explorers- I joined explorers at the end of the summer, and I couldn’t be happier. There were, and still are, so many things I didn’t understand and couldn’t do right, but I got so lucky because I met people who have been patient with me. Although I became frustrated and mad when I couldn’t do something I had reassurance from people who had at one point been in the same place as me. I eventually gained confidence and got a little better.

yeah…I think that was the end of the list….I made several lists but I only found one of them. When I learn the whereabouts of the rest I’ll add them too.

life as i know it is about to change

someone told me to be careful something bad was gonna happen

i am just gonna think the best from now on.

i have been on the road for the past two weeks and will continue to be there for the next 3 months. its a hard life but its getting there

money is good

love is amazing

house is amazing

friends who have been nothing but supportive are always amazing

Okay, the movie is completely in Spanish, and you have to read the subtitles, no dubbed version…. okay by me, prefferred actually. Please don’t let that stop you from seeing this unbelievable film.

It is the most incredible movie I have seen all year. Beautiful cinematography and a fantastic story. It is very dark and twisted, not very well suited for children. I don’t really want to tell you too much of the story, just trust me, and go get it… NOW!

I receieved this yesterday from Bryan…he is always putting his two cents in at the most best times…it’s nice to know how your friends feel about you and the circumstances you find yourself in on a daily basis. I hope you all get a little something out of this for yourselves. Hugs & Kisses, Anna

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Sometimes as life pushes us one way and pulls us another, we lose sight of the most important things in it.
People disappoint us so often because we hold such high expectations and we have this picture in our heads of exactly what we want the world to be like and it just never lives up to that picture… that’s not entirely our own fault… but it partially is.

Sometimes that fairy tale ending is available to us and there for the taking but we have to be willing to accept that it’s not exactly what we expected.
In the long run, it can exceed those expectations…
even if at first it seems not to even meet them.

If there’s one thing I have learned in my life it’s that one cannot know anything about anyone else quickly.
It takes time.
It’s one of life’s great dichotomies that there is such an uphill battle to overcome a bad first impression and yet the true person is not revealed until one has spent some time with them and seen what they are truly about.
We all put up an image of sorts… we all have this way we wish to be perceived… and often it’s not exactly as who we really are. Often we really don’t even know the truth about ourselves.

At the end of the day, there are certain things that matter and nothing else does. First and foremost, in my opinion, at least, is loyalty. One needs have nothing to do with me if they are the type to betray my trust. Beyond that is love. If someone is unable to give this freely and unconditionally, they are not mate material.
We parents have an upper hand in this department as we experience unconditional love on a regular basis.
Most non-parents really have no idea what it’s like.

Hold your head up high, smile, face the day with the knowledge that no matter what, you’re an incredible, warm, loving, intelligent, very special woman with an enormous amount of potential to do great things. No one can take that away from you and you have a right to have expectations because not anyone deserves the amount of love you have to give…
just remember that those expectations must be held for the right reasons and in the right manner… for what you expect in a mate should be that which will make you happy and last a lifetime. Too often we all (myself included) look for what we THINK we want but it’s just superficial compared to what we truly need. There’s no need to settle for “so-so” but remember that the things that make them “so-so” should be the important things… just like the things that make them “incredible” should be those same things.
So long as you remain true to that, you’re guaranteed to either FIND happiness WITH someone else or on your own.

Miss ya!
Bryan