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What Happens When I’m At WORK and I have to Poop?

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable.

For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you the………
Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work.

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee): When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun’s pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the shitter. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN): This is a group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: A pooper who does not realize that you’re in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. TURD BURGLARS have been know to cause premature pinchage, which inevitably causes you to pinch one off in the middle.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: This is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert all potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

DEFINITIONS OF Poop
· GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet.

· CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.

· WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don’t ruin them with a stain.

· SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you’re done Pooping and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.

· POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

· LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

· GASSEY Poop: It’s so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.

· DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

· CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
· GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.

· SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you’d swear it was leaving you sideways.

· WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

· LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

· MEXICAN Poop: It smells so badly that your nose burns.

· UPPER CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.

· THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but…oops…a
· Poop!!! THE DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Guess what guys?? I just added a new section to AnnaLaceyinHd.com which features some of my hottie girlfriends that are some super sexy exciting dirty little sluts. I’m sure you’ve already heard of some of my favorite lady friends but I’ve got tons of my Russian girlies and my girls Veronika Raquel and Micah Moore! I love these girls!! They are downright naughty and dirty and are willing to take it in any hole you want it in so check it out and let me know what you think of my raunchy ladies. Especially my BFF Veronika. She loves the cock and takes it any which way she can get it!

Check her out here.

Hi my lovelies!! I have just uploaded some new content to my website AnnaLaceyinHD.com! It’s just some cute little dirty pics of me talking on the phone being naughty. I was talking to my friend Vika about how much I love my new sex toy and how good it feels inside of my sweet little cunt. I told her all the details about how I came over and over again and how covered in my milky cum it was when I pulled it out of me…

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Pregnant Blonde

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came
running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I
didn’t know why she was jumping so excitedly
but I thought, ‘what the heck’, and I starting
jumping up and down along with her.

She said, ‘I have some really great news….

I said, ‘Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.

‘

She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from
all the jumping up and down, told me that she was
pregnant.

I knew she’d been trying for a while so I
told her, ‘That’s great I couldn’t be happier for you!’

Then she said, ‘There’s more’
I asked, What do you mean there’s more.

She said, ‘Well, we are not having just one baby.

We are going to have TWINS!’

Amazed at how she could know so soon after
getting pregnant, I asked her how she k new.

She said….

(You’re going to love this!)

‘Well, that was the easy part.

I went to Wal-Mart
and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a
TWIN-pack.

Both tests came out positive!’

Do you want to see more LIVE action of me getting hot and ready for a good fucking? Well nothing gets me more worked up then a good meal! I know, I know. I’m strange but I think it is my deep Russian roots. Anyhow. I have saved some hot clips of me taking it all off in the kitchen when my plump juicy ass pressed tight to the kitchen counter.. leaving nice little wet spots on the counter when I get off. MMMM. I love getting off.. especially when it’s with some THICK juicy vegeatables. Ever seen a hot Russian girl fuck a cucumber? I HAVE!!

See more of Anna Lacey’s hot Russian ass getting dirty in the kitchen HERE!!

MMMMM One of my favorite past times is def eating hot moist tight pussy. So my friend and I decided that we would video tape it for your viewing pleasure! This set gets hot and juicy when we whip out the sex toys and start sliding them into wet holes.. bringing each other to screaming orgasms. MMMM. I love her. She’s so hot!! Can’t wait to get to taste even more of her!

Check us out getting our fucking and sucking on HERE!

Is it too much to ask to be treated how you treat others? I’m going through a thing right now and I’m always so nice. I hate that about me. People walk all over me!